That voice shows up for many of us.
Self-doubt can feel like standing backstage before a big performance.
Your mind is loud. Your body is tense. You wonder if you belong there.
But something shifts when you step forward.
-You take a breath.
-You begin.
-You find your rhythm.
Work and leadership are not so different.
You rarely feel fully ready.
Confidence does not come before action.
It grows as you show up.
A few years ago, I faced this myself.
I was deciding whether to leave a career in fashion to explore neuroscience and coaching.
On paper, I had the experience and the training.
But inside, another voice was louder.
What if you fail?
What if you’re not as capable as people think?
Maybe wait until you feel ready.
I thought I was being careful.
But I was listening to my inner critic.
That voice is not truth.
It is fear trying to protect us.
Once I saw that, I started asking different questions.
What if I succeed?
What if I already have what I need?
What if waiting means never starting?
So I moved forward.
Not without fear.
But with more awareness.
And things opened.
This is where coaching helps.
A coach does not remove doubt.
They help you see it clearly.
They help you notice the voice, question it, and reconnect with your strengths and purpose.
Over time, you learn to act even when doubt is present.
Self-compassion plays a key role here.
In my research, I found that people who were more self-compassionate were better able to handle stress and adapt to challenges (Maury, 2023).
Self-compassion starts with awareness.
Rick Carson calls the inner critic the “gremlin.”
The first step is simply to notice it.
Then, a simple practice:
Think about how you would respond to a friend who just failed.
You would likely be kind, patient, encouraging.
Now ask yourself,
How do I speak to myself in that same situation?
Most of us are much harder on ourselves.
This awareness creates a choice.
We can keep the harsh voice.
Or we can begin to respond with more support and understanding.
Neff and Germer (2018) show that self-compassion builds inner strength and helps us move forward, not by ignoring mistakes, but by learning from them without shutting down.
You do not need to eliminate self-doubt to grow.
You need to change your relationship with it.
Notice it.
Question it.
Soften it.
And keep moving.
So let me ask you:
Who is driving your career right now?
Is it you, or your inner critic?
And what would change if you took the wheel?
References:
Carson, R. D. (1983). Taming your gremlin: A guide to enjoying yourself. Perennial Library.
Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2018). The mindful self-compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. Guilford Publications.
Maury, S. M. (2023). Resilience during the COVID-19 pandemic: Experiences of single working mothers (Publication No. 30820306) [Doctoral dissertation, Saybrook University]. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses Global.